


someone new

by saraheli



Category: Block B
Genre: F/M, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 17:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14794973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saraheli/pseuds/saraheli
Summary: Why did he have to fall for you? All his life, Jiho hoped to find someone like you, but as you fall deeper into your love with his best friend, Jiho struggled to find a way to move on.





	someone new

Jiho learned early on how to watch you from afar. He learned that it would hurt less if he didn’t let himself come close if he didn’t let his mind wander when you were near. If he did, he would never be able to stop.

Since he was young, and now, Jiho always craved closeness. He wanted friends to keep him company; he wanted people to talk to late at night when he was still working despite himself; he wanted someone to hold him close and share meals with him and be a spot of warmth in a world of cool isolation. He wanted someone to touch him with words or fingertips the way you could with just a glance.

But he wasn’t yours to touch, nor you his.

He wished he could have known from the first time he’d seen you, but, no matter what all of those cheesy movies and gushy novels tell you, you never know the first time. Maybe the second. By the third time, however, it is undeniable.

“How did you two meet?”

“It was totally by accident actually,” Kyung responded, tapping your arm as he told Jiho, “You remember that night I came home with a ruined shirt because some incompetent bridesmaid dumped her vodka soda all over me?”

“Okay listen,” you had interrupted with a laugh, “Incompetent and drunk are not the same thing and you know it.”  

“Regardless, you ruined my shirt and I hoped that you would burn in hell for it,” Kyung chuckled, “but, luckily for me, you didn’t and I met you again the next week at the same bar with significantly less booze in your system.”

“Yes, well, I suppose that is lucky for you.”

You punctuated your sentence with a gentle kiss on his lips that made him grin, and, once the two of you had sufficiently sickened the general public with your sweetness, your gaze returned to Jiho.

“Pretty wild, huh?”

Wild was certainly one way to put it.

Why did it have to be you? You who clung to Kyung’s arm and made him beam with yellow light. You who kissed his cheek and toyed with his waves to make him laugh. You who called him on his stupidity and laughed at his cringe-worthy jokes. You who made Jiho’s stomach tie in knots. You who made his voice stop short and his words break into parts. You who made his heart sing and jot lyrics onto paper. You: unattainable.

It was painful for him to watch. It stung each time he witnessed a kiss that wasn’t his or a touch he didn’t share, and he was swallowed by the bitterness of guilt that suffocated any vine of jealousy that might have grown inside him.

When he was alone and working, he thought of all of the times that you visited Kyung during these kinds of times. He thought of the takeout you must have surprised him with or the distraction you must have fondly caused. He felt stuck in the stomach of resentment and loneliness and he wondered if he would ever find something new.

“What’s up with you?” Kyung had asked of Jiho one evening. He was spinning in an office chair with a plate of food on his lap and a hunk of chicken between his chopsticks. “You’ve been—”

“Busy,” Jiho concluded, not looking away from the screen, “What of it?”

Kyung scoffed, “It’s more than that. I feel like you’ve been avoiding me.”

Jiho was quiet, even the typing on his keyboard coming to a momentary halt.

“You must be imagining that,” he replied slowly, “I haven’t been doing anything like that, at least not on purpose anyway.”

He had been. Maybe it was intentional, maybe it was subconscious and thereby accidental; regardless, he was thankful to not be burdened with that concoction of desire and distaste that you poured down his throat with each encounter. He was thankful to be able to look at Kyung without your face centimeters from it or against it entirely. He was thankful to not have to think about missing you while he was working, so he kept working until he had nothing left, and then he made more.

“Well, maybe you should take a break,” Kyung suggested, looking over his friend’s shoulder as he worked, “You’re going to work yourself to death if you’re not careful.”

_Good._

“Maybe you’re right.”

“Oh, by the way, would it be alright if I had someone come up for a second?”

_No._

“Yeah, sure, but not for too long, we have to finish this,” Jiho pointed to the screen as he turned to look over his shoulder.

He had half expected to see you tonight anyway, but that didn’t stop his heart from leaping between his teeth at the sight. The cold had painted goosebumps onto your bare legs and Kyung’s hands around your waist to give you heat. You shivered and giggled at his touch, not paying any mind to the presence of the child pining from behind the visage of a man.  

“Oh, hi Jiho.”

The sound of your voice writing his name in his ears would have made him shiver under any other circumstances, but now, he was frozen. You couldn’t be here, you needed to be gone. He couldn’t bear the weight of your presence in a place like this especially not with Kyung.

He wondered if it would be different if he had been alone here, but he told himself that you wouldn’t have come. He needed to believe that you wouldn’t come to his beck and call, that his needs meant nothing to you because if they ever meant anything then he would never be able to let loose that string of hope that tied him to you despite his best intentions. Jiho would never be able to let you go, let Kyung be happy, let himself grow if he thought for even a moment that you might just love him back.


End file.
